The key word in that beautiful song is that the greatest thing in life is to love and be loved in return. This is true isn’t it? So, true! It would be so sad then if we fail to realise that we are being loved or the person whom we love does not love you in return or does not realise it as such.

One shows their love for another in various ways. Sometimes obvious and overflowing that it looks so corny and occasionally obscene and sometimes so vague that one wonders whether life could be present. Some demonstrates their love based on the person they are mingling and others base it upon the environment they are within. But where or who it is, it would not be of much value if the other person cannot return the love.

Throughout my working career, my work was filled with love. I remember my early days as an intern, where much of my time was spent with either my patients or my nurses. Well, many patients have managed to touch my llife and has throughout the years been my faithful teachers of medicine. Just listening to them, made me realise it had a therapeutic effect for the patient as well as a lesson for me. The ones that gave me the greatest pleasure were the elderly ones as they seem to have so much to tell and learn from – wisdom grows with age. Many were hurt and left alone when they were becoming burden to their children. I had families who would come and leave their aging parents in the wards especially when it is close to some long holiday. To make it worse, they leave them there and are never seen again thereafter. They falsify their adrresses and telephone numbers so that they cannot be traced. I remember my ward sister contacting the police to locate such patient’s family. Sometimes it works, the other times nothing! Just recently, an elderly lady, walked into my clinic and insisted I call her grandmother and with that started calling me son as I looked like one of her grandchild. She at an elderly tender age, had a large goitre (thyroid gland swelling) which was suspicious of cancer. As I broke the news to her as gently as possible, she looked at me, then looked at the floor and as she looked back at me, there were tears welling up.Then she smiled, and she says,” I have lived my life, I am happy. If you, my son, tell me this then I trust you and with whatever you opt to do.” In my mind, flashes of mom’s face were so vivid, maybe because somewhere within that smile was my maternal grandmother’s smile. To her and all my patients, I send my Valentine wishes.

Colleagues and friends show their love differently. The ability to understand, work as a team, accomodate are all signs of the ability to love. Fights and cold wars are bound to occur but the ability to work together that is to forgive and forget makes the friendship. This is exactly what happens in my work place – just a few days ago, I became furious as to why my nurses failed to attend to a patient who had a discharging abscess and in pain when she was admitted at 2 am. At 8.30am, the patient was in tears and had used her sarong to cover her discharging abscess. I was furious. I then realised that the story goes even further when my intern herself had not reviewed the patient upon admission apart from “cut and paste” what my Medical Officer wrote in the ED. “Pieces of my mind” were sent out as sharpnels to my nurses and the intern. To make things worse, when I did rounds the following day, I realised that all the cases including the lady above which were supposed to have had surgery done but not done,were due to my intern not informing the operating theatre on time. She informed the anaesthetist only in the evening after my afternoon rounds yesterday. Oh I miss my other intern who had just a few days ago went into labour, I miss her! I felt myself becoming a ferocious eruptive volcano flowing hot lava out my mouth but decide to shower snow over it. It took a lot from me but I felt before I exploded, I should at least call my intern aside and give her an in depth pep talk. That was just two days ago. Hope all will improve and to all my staff, my nurses and doctors and friends, Happy Valentine to all.

Family members are wonderful people. Despite all the wrongs, all the weakness, all those arguments, they are always there for you anytime. So much is the love that often we take them for granted. And in this context, to love and be loved is probably best demonstrated. So,if your spouse does not appear to love you, think again maybe you are not paying attention. So to my parents, sisters and their families and the beloved one Ruban, my valentine wishes to all.

Happy Valentine’s Day.